Debate: Positive Parenting—An Empty Phrase or a True Revolution?
Over the past decade or so, the term “positive education”—often associated with kindness—has become very popular, both in schools and among families. It encompasses a wide range of concepts, including positive parenting,positive authority, and positive discipline.
Sylvain Wagnon, University of Montpellier
Although its definition has yet to be established, it is already clear that it is, above all, about respecting the rights and needs of children and adults through more understanding, empathetic, and constructive human relationships.
Child Protection
As we mark the 30th anniversary of the Convention on the Rights of the Child, signed on November 20, 1989, positive education must be seen in the context of this historic commitment to take into account the needs and “best interests” of the child.
This protection of children has been developed through legislation on the rights of children as well as those of the state. Indeed, the19th century established a “protective system” in response to the absolute power of parents—and more specifically, of the father—over their children.
The rejection of child abuse has been a recurring theme in French legislation up until the law of July 10, 2019, on “everyday violence”—which some, in an attempt to disparage it, refer to as the “anti-spanking” law. Yet this intolerable violence exists, and children remain the forgotten victims in the fight against violence.
In France, a child dies every five days as a result of abuse by their parents; 165,000 children are victims of rape and sexual violence each year; and children remain the primary victims of domestic violence. All of these facts are a reality that makes positive parenting a necessity.
School Climate
Since the enactment of the Law on the Reform of the French Public School System on July 8, 2013, official documents from the Ministry of National Education have emphasized that “the conditions for a peaceful school environment must be established in schools and educational institutions to promote student learning, well-being, and personal growth, as well as good working conditions for all.”
Kindness and empathy contribute to the concept of a new “school climate” by strengthening students’ motivation and skills. This perspective is supported by the results of international assessments conducted as part of the OECD’s PISA program, which indicate that the education systems that make the most progress are those based on kindness. These factors illustrate the importance of the quality of the pedagogical relationship between teachers and students for genuine educational change.
Positive authority, a concept that has spread from the world of elite sports, emphasizes the link between firmness and flexibility. In the school setting, “positive discipline” once again underscores the importance of communication, dialogue, and respect for children and adolescents. School punishments or humiliating remarks—symbols of a coercive educational approach—are generally prohibited.
Parental Investment
The issue extends beyond the school setting and is defined by some as a revolution in family life, centered on positive parenting. While no one can object to the desire for harmonious relationships between children and parents, this concept is open to debate when it is perceived as a requirement.
In a book published in September 2019, Béatrice Kammerer highlighted the risks of mothers being made to feel guilty as a result of these demands for emotional labor, without any change in the division of roles between parents.
Parenting is a process of trial and error. Education is never an exact science—and thankfully so. While scientific knowledge, particularly in neuroscience, offers valuable insights, it should not and cannot serve as an educational standard. Yet proponents of positive psychology often try to validate it through measurable results.
The idea of evaluating education—and especially its goals—has been raised. What do parents hope to achieve through this positive approach to education: their child’s personal growth, their children’s cognitive performance, the elimination of family conflicts, or greater obedience?
The Risk of the Standard
Current trends are linked to this pursuit of happiness. In *Happycracy*, Éva Illouz and Edgar Cabanas analyze how the values of positive psychology—which promote the imperative of personal fulfillment and well-being—are gradually taking control of our lives. It is not this desire for happiness that is at issue—quite the contrary—but rather the means employed and the intentions behind them.
Turning a process and an ideal into a mandate leads individuals to frustration and a never-ending quest. The “well-being syndrome” can lead to suffering stemming from this demand for positivity and the inability to be happy. Isn’t there, behind the question of what it means to be happy, a risk of creating an archetype of the positive, young, healthy, and beautiful person?
It is therefore clear that positive education is essential in the face of the abuse and coercion suffered by some children. It is a prerequisite. Now we must develop this positive education with a focus on the rights, respect, and freedom of both the child and the parents, while avoiding the establishment of a single, inherently coercive educational standard.
Sylvain Wagnon, Full Professor of Education, School of Education, University of Montpellier
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Readthe original article.